Category: the Rant Board
I have never posted here but today I am cause I just need to vent. Ok so I'm a foster mom and my first job is to keep kids safe second to work with parents and try to help them be better parents by example so they can get the kids back. Now I love kids and for the most part it's been fun. But I have these two little boys I'll call Effi and Goose who when they came to me were pretty bad off. One more than the other as he had bruises, adult bite marks and had to have a brain operation. At first I was ok with working with the parents because the worker said they would not be getting them back and that they would be in jail. So I was like ok great no biggy I'll just deal with them as we go and not say much. Well I called yesterday to ask some questions and he was like oh well it's all up in the air and so you know we have to at least try to see if this is workable. I was like WHAT? They can't be serious, I do not think these kids should ever have to go back there. Even if the mom was not the cause she let it happen and doesn't have the brains to protect them. Goose is lucky to be alive and they are thinking of giving them a second chance. I talked to another foster mom and she just gave me a hug and reminded me of our job, we heal them up and send them out and try to give them a little happyness wile they are in our care. She's done this a lot longer than I have and I'm just finding it sooo hard to just bite my lip and smile.
ahh venting is good ok thanks guys till next time.
Maria I would seek legal advice on this too see where you stand as regards the situation..I agree with you
wholeheartedly that these children have no place with these monsters,just as a warning if you decide say to adopt these children, you may end up with a nasty expensive fight on your hands...good luck..smile.
Oh god I can so understand how that feels. I agree with Goblin you really should seek advidce, maybe protect them from going back there. This is awful. Parents like this - this is my opinion - should be locked up or at least the children should be taken away from them. Why do people give birth to children if they don#t care about them, if they only hit or hurt them?
Insele the parents may have been abused themselves, and no one was there, to help them break the cycle of behaviour, when they began abusing their children..though some truly dispicable feckers, have children to delibrately abuse, as if they have the right, to make the child's life hell.
I did some calling around and found that there is a foster parents association. I went to a meeting last night and asked about how much say so a foster parent has and they said that our word is respected and at times it seems as if though it is gone ignored but that alot of the choice sits on the lap of the judges and highter ups. So not much a social worker can do other than the same thing I do report and hope for the best. The best thing for me to do is report all and keep a log with just the facts no heart felt stuff just the facts. Then grow a thicker skin cause if I'm gonna make it in this I have to. It's so hard though cause you kind of start t grow that skin and they melt it right away. I mean they are babies after all and it's beyond me to imagine such a buse taken out on such a small child. And what I really don't guet is and I'm not saying that any one would deserve it more than another but you know how some kids are just right down bad. but these two lil boys are soooo sweet. they don't complain hardly ever cry, don't misbehave. Now that could all be cause they are afraid to get hit but wow it's just crazy. I had a call the other day for a 8 month old in a cast didn't have the room for another baby and honestly I thought glad i don't I coudln't watch that. So thicker skin and hang in there was the advice. As for adopting It wont cost much at all. You see here it seems that if you are disabled you are not costly like a child who is not. Though it is stil up in the air if we will adopt these guys or not if they do become available as I do enjoy helping kids but as a first time foster mom it's getting past letting them go so I really need to be able to do that as I can't adopt everyone smile. I just feel guilty when they ask would you like to adopt them and you say no. Just sounds awfull to say no even though there is nothing wrong with it. it is a job and I'm here to take care of as many as I can. But yeah I'm thinking strongly about getting a lawyer just to have as back up in different situations. I am learning that just because you are a foster mom doesn't mean you can't be blamed for stuff. learned that the hard way. After the meeting I felt a bit better and not so out here and alone doing this. Got some really good tips and even laughed a bit was nice. Well thanks guys for your advice as well.
I hope you're able to get a lawyer and fight this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I guess "get thicker skin" is good advice because it's almost what you have to do, but it's easier said than done when you're dealing with little kids.
Maria believe it or not there is a heck of alot you and the other parents can do, to change this. For a start you could petition the courts, and/or protest by going to your local radio station and highlighting the plight of these children, because this cannot be allowed to just disappear, like so many other uncomfortable issues..good luck pal and find a real hard nut crusading lawyer.......
for 3 weeks now my brother has been trying to help this young homeless lad, who is deaf and barely able to speak. He is staying with us at the moment, as we try to convince him that he is safe and not in any kind of danger..it's a vey slow process and difficult at times as I cant sign, but we manage and hopefully we can keep him out of the system..good luck Maria ...
Its sad yes but if the court feels that the mother is able to take care of her kids even though she allowed it to happen then they might grant her custody. But remember, you gave that child a warm happy life after hell. The child will remember the good you gave and you can always give that child reassurance that if they feel they want to return to you to live perminately then maybe this is the route to go. But don't stand on the sidelines and just let it happen. If you feel that you are a better guardian for these children I'm sure if you fight hard enough the court will grant you guardianship.
Cheers and best of luck.
I am agreed, you need to fight if not for yourself, for the children, they are innocent little children, they don't need to be hurt like that. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Sorry this might sound ironic but ... you may see them again if they come back to their parents. This is not very positive but ... yeah.
Just wanted to repost and just say so this job doesn't sound so depressing smile. that it is a very rewarding job and one I would tell others to get into. It does have it's down times but the Ups are so great. When you seem them reach out to you or smile after never smiling before. Or watching them take a first step after not being able to move. Or the first I love you oh my it is a feeling you can't put into words. Oh and the best part is proving a doctor wrong when they say he wont walk or in my dauters case they said you can count on her being in a weel chair and since she is blind has some mental issues she will be not as smart as most. then you work and work with them and take them right back in showing that doctor that they are running and speaking and know more states and capitals than even he does grin. That is awsome when it happens. Sure not all cases turn out tthat way but when they doo Yay. I have learned that if you give kids wings they will show you how to fly smile.